Chapter 2 (I try to have good grammar, I'm not perfect)

Ronald

I'm not sure what I believe in. Most of my life I just assumed there was nothing. Choosing a belief never played a role in my life. It never dawned on me that there could be something out there that would have an actual effect on me. I am no one. I attended The First Baptist Meetinghouse in town every Sunday with my parents, from birth and on. I stopped going about a year ago and now that I'm eighteen my parents have quit trying to make me go. I know it breaks my mother's heart, but I just can't sit among the avid believers when I am the complete opposite. I used to enjoy going to Sunday service, the music, the singing, the dancing, and especially the sermons. When I was a kid, I loved hearing the preacher talk about redemption, forgiveness and the love of God. But as I got older I started to hear the parts about hell, sin and damnation. Now I don't listen at all. Even when I went to church, when I was younger, I don't think I believed then, I just liked the experience. So deciding to stop going and embrace my disbelief really didn't change my life much. I just get to sleep in on Sundays.

One time when I was around eleven I asked my parents why they named me Ronald. They didn't really give me an answer, only said, "It's a good strong name, very powerful. Very smart." And that was that. I never asked again.

After attending public school until the age of 15 I received an invitation to attend Burns Academy on a basketball scholarship. Burns Academy is the most prestigious school in the county. Exclusive attendees and monstrous tuition. Needless to say going there in general for me and my family was out of the question. But my parents jumped at the opportunity for their son to go to the best school around. I've been playing basketball since I could walk. In the newspaper, someone once wrote that I was so light on my feet that when I jumped it was like I was flying. The thing is that writer doesn't know how accurate they are. Every time I jump to make a shot I feel like I'm gliding on air, like I am as light as a feather just drifting up to an end point. One time I took a risk, and to show off a bit, I jumped to dunk nearly from half court and some how I made it. People watching attributed my ability to momentum, adrenalin and strength. But in that moment when my feet left the ground, I flew.

It was my abilities that landed me a full ride to Burns Academy and a permanent spot on their basketball team. I'm a King now. That's the school mascot, The Kings. And the way they treat me there, it's like a king. Teachers like me because I'm smart, the staff likes me because I'm well-behaved, the board and benefactors like me because I bring a lot of positive attention and recognition to the school and students like me because I'm likable, especially girls because I'm kind of a big deal.

After Burns Academy I could go to any college or university on a sports scholarship, guaranteed. From there going pro is practically set in stone.

But didn't I mention I'm smart, like crazy smart. Not my words, a teacher actually once wrote that on a paper I had written. But no one paid attention to that comment because smarts don't matter when you're a sports star. My whole life I've never scored lower than an A-, but even if I failed every class they still wouldn't kick me off the team. I'm basically protected from academic suspension.

I don't want to be a professional athlete. I want to go to college and double major in philosophy and history. And I want one day to complete my Masters and get my PhD in philosophy. While academically and intellectually I am pretty well rounded, for some reason I excel in logical thinking and problem solving. I am fascinated by the study of logic and critical thinking. I think it is often times forgotten that if we don't study history, we are doomed to repeat the mistakes from out past. That is what drives my passion for history and logic. It only makes sense. My drive to always thinking logically has taken me to my present mental state of disbelief. Magic, spiritualism, the divine, just doesn't make logical sense.

And now I am standing in front of a girl or at least I think she's a girl. She's pale but has vines etched into her skin. Her ears are pointed and she has wings. She claims to posses magic. She is captivating.

For the first time in a long time, I am questioning my disbelief.